Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Thanks Matt, Bless your heart

My hubby owns his own business. He is self employed. He is DA MAN!!
His business has taken him from northern Utah to southern Utah to Jackson Hole to other parts of WY , even to Hawaii.
And because of this fact he has employee's. He has had up to 50+ employee's at one time. Well, this is where my story begins......(yes, I've said that before)........

My hubby had an employee named Matt. Matt was quite a character. He was marginally good looking and had nice teeth. Matt could even be really fun to talk to. Matt and my hubby became friendly. They shared storied, they shared advice, they shared jokes, they shared alot. Matt had an interesting view on life. He dated alot but never seemed to find a girl to settle down with. When I asked my hubby about this he said that...
"Matt says dating is like fishing. You got to catch and release, catch and release. He said he's just trying to find a keeper".
Apparently he had told my hubby that he (meaning my hubby ) was lucky to have found me because, after all, I was a keeper. Did I mention he was a bit of a brown noser too? I tell you this just to let you get a feel about who this Matt is.

Matt has a theory. He says that it doesn't matter what you say about another person as long as you end it with "Bless his/her heart". You can say the meanest, rudest, most condesending thing and it is all ok as long as you cap it off with those three little words. For example:

Chick #1 "OH MY GOSH, Like Do you totally see that girl, like over there by the vending machine?"

Chick #2 "Like,you mean the one with the like, super cute srunchy in her hair?"

Chick #1 "OH...MY...GOSH... That is totally her. She has got like, the worst body odor ever. Like, it doesn't even look like she has like, brushed her teeth or like, taken a shower all week. Like, Bless her heart"


Dude #1 "Dude, did you catch Mike's talk in church today?"

Dude #2 "No man, how'd it go?"

Dude #1 "OHHH DUUUDE, it sucked! He kept saying UM and stuff. His joke wasn't even cool, dude. I heard some Betty say that he was sportin' a bat in his cave.Dude, Bless his heart"

You can see the hours of fun my hubby and I have had with this concept. The possibilities are endless. This seems like such a gift of goodness that can't be passed up. I have to say that is has come in handy from time to time.

The really sad thing about Matt is that he ended up in a not so good place in his life. He's one of those people that you just have to sit back and say "Geeze, he had so much potential. He's really lost his way. He's not even marginally cute anymore. Bless his heart"


compulsive writer said...

That pflower. She called me up to take issue with me because I hadn't yet commented on her today's post. And lo and behold. When I went to my post from yesterday to find her comment in order to use it to link to her blog what did I find? She has not commented on my latest post!

Bless her heart!

But seriously. We used to have this family in the neighborhood and they had the best southern accents in the world. And when they moved away after living her for what seemed like 30+ years that was the little secret the wife taught me. It works for kids. It especially works for the husband. (Bless his heart.) It works just great. I think it's slang for "the dirty little devil."

Or something.

Julie said...

You are damn funny, ang. Bless your heart!

Lorien said...

I'm finally here (bless my heart). I left a comment on your squeeze entry, just so's you don't miss it. We use the "Bless his heart" phrase a lot around these here parts, too. Love it.

Elizabeth said...

This is so true. You can say anything and somehow convince yourself that it wasn't that bad to say whatever it is you said if you put some sort of sympathy tone into it or something. (My husband used this phrase last night in conversation, and I couldn't help but remember your post.) :)